Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Funny Valentines Quotes

funny-Valentines-Day quotes

Valentine’s Day 2013 on Thursday, February 14, 2013, and lovers with a silly sense of humor are searching online for funny love quotes, funny Valentine’s jokes, and corny Valentines limericks. Whether for romance or a good laugh, these Valentine’s Day quotes will get you in the mood for the “Love Holiday.”

Here is the Collection of Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! ~Jay Leno

Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone. ~Lewis Black
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.” – Henry Kissinger
“Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle

Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em, right? Here are some funny Valentine quotes about men.

Husbands are like fires – they go out when they’re left unattended. ~Cher

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. ~Natalie Wood

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. ~Albert Einstein

The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one. ~Rita Rudner

funny valentine day quotes sayings

“Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.” – Jonathon Swift
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor
“Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.” – Author Unknown
“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.” – Aerosmith
“Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.” – Catullus
“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” – Rose Franken
“Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, – but not for love.” – William Shakespeare
“I love you like crazy, baby ‘Cuz I’d go crazy without you.” – Pixie Foudre
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” – Author Unknown
“Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the braille weren’t so damned much fun.” – Armistead Maupin, Maybe the Moon
“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal
“Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.” – Author Unknown
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Author Unknown
“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.” – M*A*S*H, Hawkeye
“Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” – Author Unknown

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