Top 50 Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts

Chuck Norris Top 50 Jokes, Chuck Norris Wiki ,Chuck Norris Best Jokes And Facts.

WHO IS CHUK NORRIS?

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris (born May 06, 1945) is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. As a result of his “tough guy” image, an Internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible or even impossible feats to Norris.

Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group’s leading star in the 1980s. He next played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 to 2001.

Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for President in 2008. Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.

Top 50 Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber’s ass.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afriad to move.

Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris….the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

Chuck Norris doesn’t blink…..reality pauses.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake…….. After three days of pain and agony ………………the rattle snake died

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird

Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.

Chuck Norris doesn’t blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris got into a knife fight. The knife lost.

Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris once donated blood to one man, he’s now known as Superman

When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings

There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn’t shared with the rest of us.

Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ”You Know Who”

The sheep on Chuck Norris’ farm are the ones that give us steel wool.

Chuck Norris can choke a man with the cable of a wireless phone.

Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow

When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

chuck norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. these kids are now known as the power rangers

911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency

Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers.

Chuck Norris is so persuasive that he convinced a mirror he wasn’t there.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris is the only man to beat a brick wall at Tennis

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